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I once had this fabulous French teacher, from my evening adult learning class.“Yeah, so since I’m 34, I’ll want to have kids pretty soon after I meet someone. Googling "how to be the perfect girl" comes back with crappy results like "smile more, practice good hygiene, nourish your body, do not swear" - man, that just makes you moderate, adequate, lemonade (forgive my unprofessional urge of triplets rhyming).

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He’ll break up with you and marry the next girl he goes out with. Let’s call her Francoise (that’s not her real name, but it’s pretty much the French-est name I could think of).

Naturally, I started with And so far my efforts have been finger-twistingly short-lived and frustration-riddled. My 34-year-old roommate recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years. She tells me I’m lucky to not be tied down to the wrong person.

In an attempt to make some sense of it all, this organized chaos that makes up life and relationships, I found my way back to the piano after having not played it with any regularity for 18 years. Sometimes the playing is smooth, but messy – and damnit if you didn’t miss some of those fucking sharps (always the sharps!!

I wear makeup and do my hair on the weekends so I feel more attractive to my husband… I met him through Gumtree London (fantastic results for online dating – more on that in another post), and we met on a Saturday afternoon at a pub in Clapham for … I got on okay with the husband (Michael*), but the wife (Sharon*) was another …

Continue reading Have you heard that dating rule about not revealing too much information, too soon? Continue reading I used to hate it when married women said annoying things like “If you stop looking, you’ll find him.” What’s even more annoying is that it was totally true.

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